


Group chat names are lame

by 3mmajan3w



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gay Sirius, M/M, Marauders, Mutual Pining, Pining, Texting, bisexual remus, everyone is gay hehe, friends - Freeform, gay dorcas, gay marlene, gay shit, group chats, im rlly bad at tags, pansexual james potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29523249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3mmajan3w/pseuds/3mmajan3w
Summary: A random texting fic i wrote in the dephs on the nightbeware it is very bad lolpls no hate
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

Marauders 

(11:04 am) 

Padfoot: 

Lads, we still on for tonight? 

Prongs: 

YES!!! 

Moony: 

Sure 

But only if you never say lads again 

Padfoot: 

No can do moonyy! 

Wormtail: 

I acn cmoe oto 

Prongs: 

Learn how to fucking spell pete or you're not coming 

Wormtail: 

Soz 

Padfoot: 

No pete, just no 

Group chat names are lame 

Marlene: 

Hey bitches, you ready for tonighttt!! 

James: 

Hell yeahh 

Sirius: 

WE GONNA GET DRUNKK 

Remus: 

you guys need to chill, were doing the same thing we do every week 

Lily: 

Not if you don’t calm down 

James: 

Wow Remus no need to be such a buzz kill 

Lily-flower don’t worry I still love you 

Sirius: 

BOOOO 

Lily: 

shut the fuck up james 

James: 

You love me really 

Peter: 

Is it koay if I binrg holly? 

Dorcas: 

Ooooo pete is that the girl from our biology class? 

Lily: 

I really don’t james : ) 

Peter: 

Yeah, is that okay? 

Marlene: 

fine with me 

Dorcas: 

and me 

Remus: 

and me 

Lily: 

and me 

James: 

OKAY WE GET IT WE DONT NEED TO ALL SAY’ AND ME ‘ 

Sirius: 

...and me 

Soemboyd hepl jam is chasing em!!!! 

Remus changed James name to Jam 

Sirius: 

Wow remus 

I ask for help 

And your priority is 

JAMES’ NICKNAME!! 

Remus: 

Yes... and? 

Sirius: 

Never speak to me again 

Jam: 

GUYS! No lovers quarrelling in the group chat 

Sirius: 

Fuck off james 

Remus: 

shut the fuck up JAM 

Lily: 

Okay guys lets chill 

We will see you tonight about 7?? 

Jam: 

Yeah 

Sirius: 

Yep 

Remus: 

Mhm 

Peter: 

Yes 

Private message 

Sirius 

Sirius: 

You on your way home from work? 

Remus: 

Yeah, just locking up 

Why? 

Sirius: 

Mind running to the little Tesco's and picking up some drinks for before we go out? 

I can pay you back when you get here? 

Remus: 

Yeah, that’s fine : ) 

Want me to pick up some Doritos and dip too? 

Sirius: 

You read my mind : )


	2. Rule number one of gays night out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: homophobic language and behaviour

Group chat names are lame 

(6:35) 

Remus: 

I and Sirius are on our way from the flat now 

Are you all ready to go? 

Jam: 

Yep 

I and Pete got here 10 minutes ago 

Although I hope you weren't counting on eating anything 

peter ate it all like a fucking hoover 

Marlene: 

it's true 

We were all a witness to this crime 

Dorcas: 

Truly horrifying 

Lily: 

traumatised 

Peter: 

Okya we teg it I aet lal the fodo 

Sirius: 

Pete nobody knows what your fucking saying 

Remus: 

ANYWAY... 

I and Sirius just pulled up ya’ll ready? 

Dorcas: 

Yep we are on our way out now : ) 

Once they all arrived in their favourite club, the leaky cauldron, with Sirius and James in the lead they immediately made a b-line for their favourite booth right by the dance floor. The club was fairly old now but still looked as amazing as it did on opening night. 

It had tall walls covered in posters of old movies, and a variety of different bands, you could see the slight hint of purple shiny wallpaper, bouncing the lights in the club all across the room. The chairs were all extremely comfy, blue and purple armchairs and bean bags that were scattered all over the place. The music played loud ringing in their ears, but they didn’t mind because the music taste of this particular club was immaculate, in Sirius’ words of course. 

Once they all settled in Remus, lily, peter and James sitting in their favourite armchairs with Sirius, Marlene and Dorcas sitting in their bean bags, although of course Dorcas and Marlene were already in each other's lap snogging each other senseless, (this would usually begin in Remus's car so they were all counting themselves lucky this week), James and Remus went to get drinks as it was their turn this week.

On the way they were just making casual small talk conversation, this was usually the case between Remus and James because they were not as close of friends as Sirius and James are, they don't have much common ground, but don't get me wrong they were still best mates.

James and Remus both turned around, holding many drinks between them, and were met with the faces of the one and only Severus Snape and his gang of doofuses. Snape was known all across campus for his undying, unrequited love for Lily Evans, which got him in a 'pickle' pickle with lily a couple of months back after snape and his friends attacked Sirius for being gay.

It was just before the Christmas holidays when it happened, Sirius was exchanging gifts with his boyfriend at the time Benjy, when Mulciber started shouting slurs at them from across the yard, both Sirius and Benjy got up to leave and were faced with both snape, rosier and regulus, cowering behind the two with a look of extreme discomfort on his face, which only grew more rapidly as the other boys started to kick and punch Sirius and Benjy repeatedly, to which his reaction was to run, Sirius had not seen regulus since that day.

Back in present time, Snape began laughing at the two of them 

" wow, are you two shagging too? , I mean I knew black was a f*g but I guess it really is contagious!"

"Fuck off snape, go be a bigot in another corner" replied Remus, flipping him off 

"Or better yet the bathroom, at least you'll be able to wash your hair in there," James said pouring one of the drinks on his head.

Over the years, many of the group would reply to snapes disgusting comments, with punches and other retorts of violence, but soon come to the conclusion that this didn't phase snape and didn't bother with anything less than snarky comments back, or occasional 'free hair washes'

But rule number one of gay nights out was to never, let bigots interfere and ruin their night

so as James and Remus strolled back to the table, they did exactly that.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> sorry for how short this chapter is   
> I'm still getting used to the format and everything :)


End file.
